


apathy

by mvni



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26581276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mvni/pseuds/mvni
Summary: everything around gerard was blue, even the brightest red
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Kudos: 6





	apathy

**Author's Note:**

> so. i'm gerard and frank is a representation of people. i know .
> 
> yes i'm exposing myself. yes kinda like therapy.

it was just one of those (couple of) days. 

gerard doesn't know when it began or what triggered it, but the last few days have been a massive pain in the ass.

it starts with the heartache. the good ol' feeling of someone ripping your chest apart and poking tiny needles into your heart. then nausea hits and he can't even drink water without his stomach growling back at him. it's like being motionsick, but not moving at all. 

for gerard, this isn't even the worst part.

suddenly, he just stops feeling. like, completely stops. he feels so apathetic, uncomfortable and ludicrous, it's actually kinda funny. 

when we're kids, we always dream of taking a day off to stay in bed and do nothing, thinking this is the best idea ever and nothing could go wrong. but when the only thing you're capable of doing is staying in your room all day, curtains closed, no ventilation whatsoever, it gets suffocating. 

gerard has so much stuff to do, he has so many things happening in his life, but he can't focus. no matter how hard he tries, his eyes can't look straight for more than ten minutes. he's constantly looking at the walls or the ceiling, his mind wiped out. not feeling anything, not thinking of anything. just trying to un-exist. 

the only thing he truly wants is to be with frank, his favorite person in the whole wide world. but he can't be with him all the time. frank has his stuff to do. he has his own problems. his own struggles. it isn't fair to be needy with him right now. and that sucks.

it sucks because gerard wants to be selfish just for one day and beg frank to give him attention, but he can't. his brain wouldn't let him. even if frank says he's not a burden to be around, gerard finds it hard to believe. it's not frank's fault he's attached. gerard knows how difficult it is to deal with his mood swings.

he gets too needy. too dramatic. such a big crybaby...

not being with frank means not doing anything else. staying in bed all day wishing to disappear into thin air.

he almost wants to get hurt just to feel _something_. that scares him. 

it would be easier to put this to an end.

but he doesn't have the strenght. 

he'll be fine, eventually. until this all happens again.


End file.
